Have you ever stopped And wondered about how weird looking bats are?
Woman on TV - “After this, we’ll be together forever right?”
Coral - “Yeah! Me, you, and all your prison tattoos.”
Mom (correcting) - “Tats. Prison tats.”
Dad (correcting again) - “Ink.”
Reason #467 that I am a terrible person
Me:What is that hideous noise?
Person: That would be a baby.
i could eat macaroni and cheese until the sun fell down
Why does the weather only turn scary night turning into day end of the world type weather when I’m home alone?
This is the second day in a row.
aka All y’all don’t know how good this is. Or if you do, you do.
who’s the sex machine
with all the chicks?
Can you dig it?
They say this can Shaft is a bad mother— Shut your mouth!
Talkin’ ‘bout Shaft."
Who’s watching bad blood? S’me.
Me - I was outside today and the freaking queen ant was crawling all over me!
Mom - How do you know it was the queen ant?
Dad - She was wearing a crown. Oh, sorry excuse me, a tiara. Day wear.